dictated by Lynn and written by ChatGPT
This is a question I never asked myself—until it was thrust upon me this past weekend.
I woke up Sunday morning unable to read my phone. I thought, That’s strange. Is it my glasses? Why can’t I see the screen?
The answer: keratitis. The new biologic adjunct drug I’m taking can cause dry eyes, which ultimately led to this condition. What I didn’t realize was how incredibly painful it would be—like having sand in my eyes, every blink scraping sharp grains against my eyelids. It was excruciating.
I’m so grateful I was able to see my eye doctor on Monday and get examined, (The entire eye chart was a blur ) but I also didn’t realize how long healing would take.
Tuesday? Still couldn’t see. It got a little better toward the end of the day—bright light helped—but I had to wear sunglasses because light was also painful.
By Wednesday, I could make out the computer screen—if I enlarged the text as much as possible (shoutout to that plus-sign shortcut on the keyboard!). Huge thanks to my coworker Patty, who did a Zoom session with me, reading every email aloud and helping me respond. Patty, you are an absolute gem.
But my vision still isn’t restored, and glasses don’t help—on or off.
I had to cancel my planned trip to Punta Gorda with my cousin Chris. Another trip canceled. Another pet-sitting deposit lost. Another flight voucher in the bank, waiting to be used. More nonrefundable fees.
Tonight, I sit in my sunroom, the golden light of the setting sun warming my face and chest. My dog lay in her bed, watching me, perplexed. Why aren’t you feeding me? What are you doing? Can I lick your hand? Look at me with my ball!
But I just sat. Felt the warmth. Breathed in the moment.
There are choices ahead. I don’t know what they’ll be yet. But I do know one thing: I never want to go through this painful loss of sight again.
Wherever you are, go outside. Look at the setting sun. And be grateful that you can see it.
